Monday, January 4, 2010

weather or not to go to church

Well, the past two weekends here have given us some good 'ol central illinois winter weather. I love both the cold and the snow, but I don't like what it sometimes does to our attendance on Sundays. The past two weeks saw about 6 inches of snow one Saturday and 30 degree below zero windchills the next. So as a public service I submit a list of questions to help you decide whether or not to go to church when the weather outside is frightful:

1. Did the couple in their 70's that live in an outlying town, on a country highway, down a mile long lane make it to church? If yes, you should probably not say something lame like, "The roads were bad". Go to church (by the way, it's never the elderly or handicapped who miss church on these Sundays...they are all almost always there!).
2. Did you open your door and find the Pantagraph there? If yes, go to church. Surely you are more dedicated to Jesus than the paper deliverer is to you getting you your news.
3. Do you own one or all of the following: four wheel drive, a shovel, snow boots, a cell phone? If yes, go to church - the odds of you getting stranded and dying in a snowdrift are pretty slim.
4. If this were a Monday would your kids be going to school? If yes, go to church. Note: if it's snowing a lot, you may want to take your kids to church on Sunday because they will be home all day on Monday.
5. If this were a Monday would you be going to work? Nuff said.
6. When you go to Starbucks at 6:30 a.m. in 30 degree below zero windchills, is there a guy washing the windows of said Starbucks? If yes, you should go to church and pray for forgiveness for being a wimp and pray for the guy who has that job! Yes this happened to me on Sunday - a guy was washing windows at Starbucks Sunday at 6:30 a.m. I guess they were really dirty and had to be done right then!
7. If it snowed in Jersusalem on the day Jesus was crucified would he have carried the cross up the hill in the snow for you? O.K. that was cheap...but it still makes a point!
8. Do you someday want to tell stories to your kids and grandkids about walking to church with snow up to your knees, uphill, both ways? If yes, then go to church. It's just a much better story when it's true!
9. Is your neighbor (who also happens to go to church with you) pulling out of their drive way going to church. If yes, then go to church. Your "snowed in" story just isn't going to fly with them.
10. Is the local senior citizens bingo only delayed by one hour? If yes, go to church.
11. Is church just an afterthought, something you do when it's convenient, not really a worshipful act to you, or not that important? If yes to this sentiment, then by all means stay home. Also look for other excuses like "kids are sick", "I've got a busy week", "we just got back from the bahamas", "we were there on Christmas Eve", "It's not my week to teach", etc...

Note: these ten questions are intentionally laced with sarcasm and are meant as a parody. Please do not be offended and/or feel guilty... Unless of course the Holy Spirit is making you feel that way! (was that last line still parody?)


Melis said...

The most convicting is point #2! It is so sad that we let the weather get in the way of our fellowship at church and in our small groups! Awesome blog! Have a blessed week and I will pray the many inches of snow and blowing doesn't hinder attendance this Sunday as well! :)

Nancy said...

Ha ha ha ha... when I lived in "the land of nowhere" on the outskirts of Eureka, IL, my Dad taught me that getting to work (State Farm at that time) was crucial. There was only once that we came back home. On foot, I might add. There was an ice storm and we started out, made it about 3 miles by car. Ditched the car and walked the 3 miles back home.

How much more I want to serve God than my place of work!


Anonymous said...

I appreciate good sarcasm and parodies. I had some thoughts regarding your 10 question checklist.By the way, my comments are all in good fun as well:-)

1. First off, statements containing the words "never" and "always" are usually false. (God and Jesus excluded of course)

2.It would be a reason to worship if the Pantagraph was at my door and not in the surrounding shrubbery. Although it would be a nice touch if you accompanied my morning paper so I wouldn't have to make a decision whether to drive in. A starbuck's drink would be a great touch too:-)

3. Good point, but I don't know if I could let you live with the guilt if it were to happen. There are just some odds that are not worth taking

4.I just spent two weeks with my children on Christmas break 13hours of it in the car.Do you really need me to answer that question.

5. Truthfully if they were being honest who would.Heck no, I wouldn't go to work. I like snow days as much as my kids. However because of said neighbor mentioned in question #9, I would most likely have to at least try. Nuff said.

6. All I have to say is, "God Bless Starbucks and its employees!" I pray for their safe arrival to work on days like that.I was confused about praying for forgiveness for being a wimp or for the wimp that is still ordering the Gingerbread latte(just kidding). Better yet how about adding a Starbucks as part of the atrium expansion --now there is an idea!!

7.I have no good response to that except I am grateful that God's grace extends to people like me:-)

8. Walking uphill in snow both ways... that's just the trip from my parking spot.

9. I think I have addressed the ambitious neighbor. There is always someone that spoils it for the rest of us.

10. Have you been to senior citizen bingo - it is hard core.Although it does pose a tough decision-- would the senior citizen go to church or to bingo?

11.Truth is, I love being at church and miss it when I am unable to attend. I look forward to Sundays and church! I don't mind having to bundle up my family or leave 30 minutes earlier to get there.By the way, my husband is said neighbor you talk about:-)

Anonymous said...

Not many comments this week. But Mike you are spot on with your observation. Well said!

Just a Normal girl said...

I am a little behind of reading is the snow it prevented me from reading your blog:) No seriously, good blog. I am glad you are safe after the earth quake. We are all praying for you guys.

Derek said...


I just heard the news early this morning and they were speaking about the earthquake. I would just like to lift You, Sara, and Bob up in my prayers today. I pray for your safe travels and also ask God to be with those who are suffering from this awful event. God Bless!

Dawn said...

Missed you on stage on Sunday 1/10, but knew God needed you in Haiti. Now we know why.. the earthquake. While the church family has worried and prayed over the team, Eastview's missions team is becoming known in the community for international missions. Tyler has been on more than one TV station and a couple have links to the church web site based on their news story and getting followup. God uses us all in his time!

Speaking of "intentionally laced with sarcasm" do you read this blog?

There is a great entry about road rage in church parking lots.
- which has NOTHING to do with our experience Eastview's lots - but still fun to read.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know that we have been praying for you all.We are relieved that everyone has made it back safely. Our prayers continue for the Haitian people.