Monday, June 28, 2010

wedding season

Well, June is winding down and man are a lot of people getting married. Maybe it's just that i'm in a stretch of 7 weddings in 8 weekends, but it is the season for weddings. Now, just a disclaimer here, I've done so many weddings (two to three hundred) by my estimation; that the mystique has slightly worn off. I could do the wedding vows backwards, in my sleep. But there are some things about current wedding ceremony scene that really ruin the whole sacred experience for me. So today I offer my top five favorite and most disliked things about weddings.

1. Moist, white wedding cake (were you expecting something more spiritual?)
2. The Bride walking down the aisle. Seriously, there is nothing more beautiful than this moment in a girl's life as she presents her most beautiful self to her husband in public. It is an incredible picture of the Bride of Christ the church - we are beautiful like that because of Jesus love for us.
3. People dress up. I like dressing up. I like casual too, but I'm afraid that our culture may have become too casual, not only in dress, but in attitudes, morals and thinking. Guys may look cool casual, but they look good in suits and ties - end of story.
4. Pictures of the bride and groom growing up set to a music video thingy. It's great to see the journey of people from birth to marriage - also it makes everyone cry and that's good for us once in a while.
5. The idea of making a covenant before and with God! This is unusual - when's the last time you said, to God - "I promise". IT happened in the Bible all the time and as Christ followers, we are in covenant (we promise) with God. I like the solemnity of it all and how serious God must take all these vows. And how serious he wishes we would take them.

Dislikes (and now for a list that honestly, I had to whittle down - but will give some insight to a pastor's perspective)

1. The money spent on really wasteful things and not spent on really important things. Brides will spend thousands on a dress and will balk when we require them to spend $500 for pre-wedding counseling! C'mon one will get your marriage off on the right foot and the other will probably not fit in ten years.
2. The idea of the perfect ceremony and that causes one or two participants (usually mom's - sorry) to drive everyone else completely crazy - stressing out on important things like where exactly on the lapel the flowers should be pinned!
3. Animals as a part of the ceremony. Any further comment at this point will only get me into I'll stop here.
4. The fact that we can't throw rice anymore. Now it's bubble's or butterflies or sparklers - whatever. I know, I know - it's harmful to birds supposedly - they expode if they eat rice? Is that true or myth? If it's true - that would be pretty wild to witness. If it's not true, let's bring back the rice!
5. The two hour wait at the reception while the bridal party to finishes their pictures. C'mon cut the cake -that's what everyone is waiting for!
Runners up: The bridal party introduction to the old Chicago Bull's introduction music, 50 year old moms wearing a dress made for a 20 year old, people expecting me to dance at the reception, men who have no rythm and dance anyway (I think alcohol is involved a lot of the time), the entire love chapter (I corinthians 13) read when really only about 4 verses poetically describe love. Photographers who hang upside down from the rafters trying to get that creative shot... There's more, but again, I'll stop.


Anonymous said...

Throwing Rice at Weddings Causes Harm To Birds-Fiction!

Summary of Rumor:
The old tradition of throwing rice at a departing wedding couple should be avoided because birds eat the rice, it expands in their stomachs, and they are harmed by it. Some folks say the birds can even explode!

The Truth:
The consensus of the multiple organizations we checked with is that this is Fiction! It's an urban legend that some say got started, or at least propelled, when Ann Landers gave advice in her column in the mid-sixties that the rice would do bad things to birds.

The folks at Birder's magazine, Birdwatcher Digest, The Cornell Lab of Ornithology, and the USA Rice Federation all agree: rice causes no harm to birds. There are varieties of birds that routinely eat rice in the wild and with no harm. As one observer put it, if rice caused birds to explode, there would be bird parts all over Asia.

Most of the wedding planning organizations say that the main reason for not using rice is because there is too much of a risk of people slipping on it and falling.

Anonymous said...

just a little offended by the photographer is fun to walk up in the catwalk during the wedding (and if a creative shot happens, so be it). it helps us from getting bored during that looooonnnnggg sermonette thingy. :-)

Anonymous said...

I say bring back rice! I have been to many weddings in the past where rice was used and no one has slipped or fallen. If a person has fallen due to rice it is most likely due to rice wine that they drank and not white rice that was thrown.

Mike Q said...

Glad we didn't have any of that going on when you married georgette and I!

But we are glad we have video of a blonde spikey haired pastor. :)

Ronda Hess said...

Where the boutonneire is placed is very important. Always on the left side (over the heart), and about 2 fingers width above the pocket. If it is done correctly, the bout. will stay upright and if all bouts. are pinned in the same place on the jackets the look is uniform in the pictures no matter the heights of the men.

Mike Baker said...

I knew you'd take the photog thing personally :-)
the boutoneire (such a weird word, I'm not even going to try and spell it) also leaves stains on your lapel - if you do say - 15 weddings or so a year :-) still don't like 'em

Anonymous said...

50 year old moms wearing dresses meant for 20 year olds.....hmmm. This is coming from a someone that wanted his hair to resemble Billy Idol??:)