Monday, November 11, 2013

Jesus infomercial

Yep, I know it's been a while since I've blogged due to my traveling schedule...but I'm full of words you may get two or three entries this week. Let's start here. Yesterday I started off my sermon with a make-believe infomercial to introduce our Ephesians 4:11ff text. It's not a real commercial, but all of the stuff in it is true. Here it is... Are you tired of that flabby prayer life? Wanna lose some of those unsightly sins you've been carrying around for years? Do you lack the energy to serve and love those around you? Have your friends noticed your lack of maturity? You need the body of Christ. All over the world, people are turning to the body of Christ to help them grow into the person they were created to be. Order now and we'll send you the complete disciple-making kit. This amazing offer includes: 1). your very own, one-of-a-kind spiritual gift. 2) Membership into a loving community. 3) Free admission into 5 million churches worldwide. 4) our exclusive 24/7 God hotline. And 5) a lifetime supply of measurable spiritual growth - guaranteed! How much would you pay for such an offer? $1 million? $2 million? $3 million? Don't be fooled by imitations! You may pay millions of dollars for worldly offers, but not get any of these results. But for a limited time Jesus is offering all of this to all who would follow Him absolutely free! That's right...absolutely free. He has paid the price for all who will just believe. But wait, that's not all. If you call in the next fifteen minutes, we'll throw in a year's worth of sermons from Deuteronomy and a "fearless at five" t-shirt! Now, how much would you pay? It's still free. Plus, if you order now, you'll receive the gift of the Holy Spirit and a Matt Ludwig worship c.d. Please hurry, this offer only last until Jesus returns, which could be at any time. Angels are standing by.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sign me up!